EGG-cruciating Egg Painting

(Take note of Jacob’s face. It says “I hate nothing more than dying these eggs.”)

You know how doing fun and creative things with your children always sounds like a really great idea? It’s not. Like really, really not.

We decided to dye Easter eggs together as a family to gear up and get excited for the holiday weekend. Of course we needed eggs and also egg dye, so I picked up the first dozen and dye kit I saw. Upon arriving home, I discovered that I didn’t purchase the regular old dye kit… but instead it was a dipping kit with stickers to decorate the eggs. That was fine… no big deal…

Until both toddlers needed to have THE DARKEST BLUE DYE I’VE EVER SEEN in front of them. As they fought over the glass cup, blue dye is splashing and flying everywhere. “EVERYONE NEEDS TO SIT DOWN!” I hollered as I strategically placed all six colors out of reach of anyone who can’t successfully make it through the night without urinating on themselves.

“Mommy is in charge of all the dipping!” And I handed them each a festive sticker sheet to decorate the dry eggs… the very, very dry eggs. This system was working out just fine, minus having to peel off each and every sticker for both kids, because although they can scale the outside of the staircase, they can’t figure out how to pull a sticker off a piece of paper.

At one point, the eggs weren’t drying fast enough, so Ceci thought that this would be a really great time to crawl onto the kitchen island and vigorously shake the pink dye.

Me: Why?! Why?! Seriously, why?!

Jacob: You were told not to touch the dye. Now you have to sit in timeout. (Much more articulate than I am)

Next came the dramatic “what me? I can’t possibly need to be disciplined for doing the exact thing you told me not to!” act. There was a lot of flailing and wailing, and during those three ear-piercing, painful minutes, Piet grabbed a pink egg and smashed it on the island, shouting “BALL!” Does this sound like chaos? It should sound like chaos. Finally Ceci was able to re-enter the “fun” having area.

And apparently the stickers weren’t living up to Jacob’s standards. “Do we have Sharpies?” “YEP!” I responded like a total fool. I handed each child a marker and the very second I gave Piet his, he swiped it right across the top of the island where it will stay forever to commemorate this joyful experience.

Me: OK! That was so much fun! But, that’s it! *Collects markers and starts dumping dye down the sink*

Ceci: But Mommy, there are more eggs!

Me: *Snaps the egg carton shut and shoves it into the fridge* Nope! Wasn’t that so much fun!

But it wasn’t fun. It was the least fun ever.

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