Bathing Suit Brouhaha

Ok, Moms. Summer is coming in hot and that means bathing suit time. I’d like to consider myself a suit shopping sorcerer because I’ve been pregnant for two consecutive summers and then just gave birth right before another. Here’s my HOT tips for a SIZZLING suit!

First of all, I never go “bathing suit shopping.” That is just a recipe for throwing yourself a pity party in a public place as you ugly cry in a mirrored box, watching your meltdown from every angle. And also, am I really looking at myself in a bathing suit with my granny panties hanging out of the bottom of a way too tight one piece?

Next, always online shop for swimsuits on reputable websites. I’ve been on the crap end of a poor fitting, dirt cheap, see-through deal, and it’s not pretty. Learn from my mistakes, and don’t just buy a suit on Amazon because it’s $9. My top three favs are,, and my current number one is Good quality, good price, good selection.

Make sure you buy a couple options. Some days I want to wear black and keep it fully covered. Other days I want to show a little cleavage… emphasis on the little. And other times I just want to throw self doubt to the wind and rock a two piece. Tankinis are still cool, right?

It’s impossible for a bathing suit to have too much ruching. The more folds and creases in the fabric, the less obvious your folds and creases are. A high waisted bottom with ruching and a high waisted bottom without ruching is the difference between looking like a 50s pinup girl and looking like you’re wearing your grandmother’s underwear. Trust me on this one.

And finally, color matters. Just because yellow is your favorite color and $10 cheaper than the navy option, spring for the darker color. Your nipples will thank me.

But one thing’s for sure, you’ve got to buy the suit that you feel comfortable in so you can get out there and splash around with your kids. Because nothing says “I’m a cool mom” like feeling secure in your suit and starting a whirlpool like a boss.

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