Let me play out a scenario for you.
Kid A falls asleep on the couch, and proceeds to pee on it.
I strip Kid A and throw her drenched clothes on top of the pee spot.
Meanwhile, Kid B is pulling out copious amounts of baby wipes to “help” with cleanup.
I quickly run upstairs to pick out new clothes for Kid A.
While I’m upstairs, Kid C grabs Kid A’s urine underwear, and begins wearing them on her head.
Kid B has completely lost sight of the mission, and is now throwing hundreds of baby wipes around like confetti.
Kid C needs a bath immediately, but the couch still needs to be cleaned.
I throw a damp towel on the couch’s problem area to signify “Don’t sit here” and also, “Stay away, children.”
After rushing BACK upstairs for Kid C’s new outfit, I come downstairs to find Kid C burying her face in the pee towel, and laughing wildly.
Kid B decides to join her, because it must look like fun making mommy so mad.
Now Kid A, Kid C, AND Kid B all need baths.
This is a challenging feat when all of my patience is in tact, but I’m already about to lose it.
After running the bath water, I go to find all three.
They scatter, naked, and wildly giggling.
I chase them for awhile, but I’d catch one, and then they’d slip away while I was in pursuit of the next.
Kid A and Kid C run into each other, and now they’re both bawling.
Kid B is hiding behind the pee couch, yelling, “Mommy! I have to pee!” but he only ACTUALLY has to pee 3 out of 10 times.
There are only so many fires I can put out at once, so I quickly console Kid A and Kid C. It wasn’t quick enough.
Kid B starts peeing all over the side of the couch.
I give up. On everything.
Everyone is crying. Including me.