Past: This is the mom I was before I actually had kids.
Taught my kids to be respectful, by nurturing them, and staying home with them, so I could mold them into perfect human beings.
Took them on daily adventures to the park, where we had elaborate picnics. Went apple picking, and strawberry picking, and pumpkin picking. You get it, we picked all the produce.
Immediately lost all the baby weight I gained, because I didn’t gain baby weight. I was able to practice incredible self control during pregnancy, and only ate healthy options.
Maintained a rigorous workout regimen, and simply dropped the kids off at a babysitter’s house for the hour I spent, perfecting my already perfect body at the gym.
Romanced my husband regularly. Allotted plenty of alone time, including frequent date nights and couples vacations.
Present: My current state of motherhood.
Suck down coffee just to be able to formulate full sentences, and tolerate my children. Sip on wine at the end of the night to help me forget about the fact I called my kid a prima-donna to her face.
Consider it a win that I convinced my kids Karma is an invisible person who lives in our house, and causes them to trip on things when they’re mean.
Tuck my post baby belly into the flipped up band on my yoga pants. Just happy my mascara from five days ago is still hanging on for dear life. Eat white bread and gummy bears for an energy boost. Go for walks, not for exercise, but to take a break from the house.
Fall asleep on the couch watching Netflix, in the clothing I wore to bed the night before. Too tired to brush my teeth at night, let alone make sexual passes at my husband.
Can’t remember the last vacation I went on. Strongly considering going back to work for a break. Go to the grocery store for a big day out.
Future: The mom I foresee becoming.
Forgets how hard the early years of parenting were. Talks about how my kids always got along, and never once fought.
Doesn’t need coffee anymore, because I am reintroduced to sleeping at night. Drinks wine at dinner parties, because I go to those again.
My kids want to hang out with me, because they think I’m super funny, and we have an unexplainable bond, that is unable to be broken by the teenage years.
Exercises, not because I need to, but because I enjoy it, and learned to love myself regardless of what I see in the mirror. Gets hair professionally cut, colored, and styled. Buys makeup from a reliable company, not the dollar store.
A quiet, empty house allows my husband and me to rekindle our undeniable spark. Goes on elaborate vacations. Find each other again as empty nesters, and often reminisce of our happily ever after.